An imperative Languor.

Now that I think of it, I cannot say if I ever believed in God. No, don’t get carried away. I’ve been a devout Catholic since I was born. Yes, till this Nineteenth year of my living. Devout here means, well all in the crazy conspiracy of religion, or rather the great God, Y’see.

And, even now, I can be categorized into the same category. I can fool pretty many a people into believing that I’m still a fanatic. And, when I utter those words, again, and again that ‘everyone’s getting it wrong. Its love that Jesus preached, and God too, and bloody well the Bible too’, I myself am overcome by the existence of God. But, when at this ungodly hour that I think of it, it is a cleverly constructed flawless dialogue to pardon any of my sins and rather to support my acts at all costs and in all circumstances.

Nop, I certainly don’t term it as a Supernatural Drive.

 See, if the supernatural had given me a rush of orgasm, I would’ve bought it with a better honour. My simply jist being, I would’ve clearly felt my tingle and climax, or rather my panties would’ve been the evidence to prove God. But, how do I prove you !

Else, reciting ‘Hail Mary’ at a speed of 100 Words/minute gives me a definite billow of hope that Worldly reason cannot compete at my suicidal upsurges.

Well, I no longer know what I think actually. I don’t know if the ‘embarrassment-reasons’ that I very well say are completely outta my periphery, are the real culprits of my depression. I do not know, if my emotional handicap is that heavy stress on my incapability. Incapability, according to world’s terms. And lemme get back to Foucault pounding in some searingly lit corner of my mind, ‘MAJORITY decides?’

 No, the world has its own ways. And I very well, have mine.

Yes, the Majority’s stamping, incapabilities. I refuse to acknowledge it as reason enough to be my embarrassment. But I am more than obliged, only to it. With all due respect to my conscience, I fucking am. Ain’t I!! And it IS a fucking incapability.

The prick is when you know the impossibility serenading over you, in the most gradual of bride’s steps.  And, more importantly your conscience yelling at you that ‘a li’l late can indeed be too late’ .
No, not that. So, most importantly, the hollering automatic reason that it was a piece of plum-fucking-cake had I just fucking thought about it any morning after waking up or before going to sleep… a clear thought or a long though, any fucking costly thought of mine while I thought about the fucking purpose of my life and all the other shit this goddamn Sewer of a world compels you to keep thinking a dozen times everyday..

Yes. Fuck all those people who tell you to live in the moment.  Such imperativeness of a lethal seduction, right.  Fucking imbeciles!

Moments are supposed to weighed.
Weighed only to calculate better.
To calculate the crude Pros and Cons.
The accurate Pro and Cons.
That, my friend, is the right progressive step to Understanding.
Not glaring at the situation trying to adsorb some celestial dots of divinity.
Searching to discover a ferocious untouched Dimension of appreciation.

So, that you end up surviving,
And not dead, living the moment.

RETARDS ! 

The world is.
I cannot digest it. Why should I be spurned around like a cur for justifying the failures of This Worlds’ doctrines. I simply refuse to advocate or be any a part of it, lest only follow it for the entire of my life. Why such a dim wittedness. .. By a rather, intelligent world.

Why does everyone has to love Omelette and boiled fucking Bananas for breakfast ?
Well, I might just choke and die !!!

Why won’t people simply buy it when a person Shouts out in the middle of a road in mere frustration ? Well, to deduce that frustration anyone should merely glance at the culprit, huh ? How is it such a molecular complexity incomprehensible.

HUH ???

Why to keep on repeating the vulgar imposition , that

‘This planet is shared. You have to definitely pay for anothers’ Latrine Fee. Because, he might’ve shat out what you produced. In a weird way, that you cannot understand. You are an incapable fart. And, obviously because Majority understand it. Needs it. And favours, ‘only’ this.’

Yes, this worlds’ a  whole lotta constipated cum and herpes on a corpse to eat.
Only.