Lost ?. Maybe,dead.

There was a storm in the brew. All tight and bellowing. There was, nothing but, a cloud. A grayish red one. One with a finality which I wanted, to be smeared. I wanted it to amalgamate with the black hole. The blankest of the void in my innards. I wanted it to be gorged.

 I wanted it to be the periphery.

I sensed life now. I was at a ruin. I was at an ease. I wanted the openness.

I lost it. Its always an uncertain gallop to the unknown. I understood me. Now. Or did I ?

In all the clarity.

The sense of a lost knowing.

Lost, arrows to the fact that, I was no longer there. My phase was back. I was back to the entanglement. And the craving was back. I sensed it again. Yes, it was perfect.

Yes, it was intense. But, no that is not what I want. Well, never actually wanted.I DON"T FUCKING KNOW WHAT I'M DOING !

 It seems to radiate that, everyone is of some other world. I wanted an absolute.

I am done with my transition. I am drained out. Excitement has chosen its limits. And, it remains the same as well.

I wanted some basics. I wanted some faceless, baselessness. And, nothing more than it. And, I hated the repetition. Of the same intensity. Yes, it is a “blaring” intensity. But, no I think I’m sufficed with this ephemeral rush.

I should wait for the night.

Maybe that is my fantasy. Maybe that is my apathy. And apotheosis. A peace. A sinking hope. Or better yet, sunken.

Confusion was not so enlightened uptill.

I needed to go. Now.

I needed to shout. I needed to burst out some way.

Will some blows to the cranium help!

Oh yes!

I thought about trying it. It already gave me the surge.

I needed to detach. And free.

This paranoia is bad. I could sense its longevity.

This is going to stay.

And, I want “Stay” to be inferred in red right.

The Closure.