A Euphoric Gibberish.

"Talk to me Debby. Talk everything you see, you hear, you touch and smell. Everything Debby, everything".

A moment passed.

"I see it Jonah.

I see me.

I see so much of colour too bright and , anything but languid.

There's an ocean close. Ain't it so Jonah?"

She kept inhaling and exhaling deeply, evermore religiously.

"Yes, Debby. Vermont is two minutes away".

"I'm small Jonah. So tiny.

I'm a baby Jonah. A baby. I just.."

She coughed and in the next second she was settled back on the couch resting on the velvetty headrest, her red stubbles on the shiny scalp seemed to uplift her head. She breathed like a baby slumbering since half a day and preparing for the next half.

" I'm a baby walking the first steps on an early dewy green lawn.

Jonah, In a big ground somewhere with the sleuth of an ocean poking into the symphony. I can't seem to deduce its humungus existence from this soil, Jonah. Its too loamy.

Mommy is very close Jonah. Why is she so close Jonah ?"

" She's afraid you'd fall Debby".

" Oh. She sat down Jonah.

Oh God its so high up there. The sky, the blurred blue sky..The clouds..

 ..Oh, the birds are flying so synched...

The flowers Jonah, its as tall as mommy...

My tiny hands can't reach anything. So far, far away and, high, Jonah.

I like the grass Jonah. Reachable.

I have to just slightly bendy’know, just crouch to touch its blades. A blade in a whole palm , Jonah.

My tiny palm. Tiny , moist and tender. And colder, with a strange warm moisture.

Mommy does not forget to laugh.

 Just crouch, Jonah. Crouch !

 The birds Jonah, they're flying so elegant and graceful.

"Jonah”

" Yes, Debby”.

" My hair. I have golden auburn hair, Jonah. In a thick mass. I'm not a redhead Jonah.

Oh lord. I wanna live forever Jonah.

 The clouds a million feet above me, up in the blotched blue sky, dancing away and singing dirges to moon and cooing to the sun. Its so high up there Jonah. I can only reach ,this far away clarity, is it ?

I want to touch them. Touch all of them.

The shiny black ravens with their flawlessly groomed feathers. Damned be all the black in the world.Jet black an irregular ‘V’ they looked more like a ‘U’ gone haywire ,up, up, up in the sky, so far above.

Are they going to the sea to bathe, Jonah ?"

The speakers grumbled a lashing wave of the sea's bass.

"Jonah, catch me".

She paused her inhalation with a loud moan and bit her lips. Her brown eye brows were two thick straight lines on the wrinkled forehead that dropped the pearls. She dug her nail into the purple velvet headrest and exhaled loudly with a gasp.

" The wind is trying to push me down Jonah. I'm fallen down , on the grass Jonah. It pricks so deep into my thighs and elbows. I think i'm bleeding Jonah.

Oh.

Jonah.

Mom is running to me.

She'll pick me up. Take me in and put me down to sleep.

No.

I should do something. “

She coughed for another two whole seconds and then shrugged back to her velvet.

"Stand up, Debby”.

" Yes. I'm up. Mom stopped Jonah. She is laughing now. Throwing her golden curls back and forth. Lord, she's having a fit, Jonah.

 Help her”.

She coughed again.

" I'm running. Oh, Jonah. I'm running. The wind can't throw me down. I wanna run down the mountains Jonah. I want to run forever Jonah.

Find where the sparkly clouds have chosen to touch. Run till the end of the sea Jonah.

Can i float Jonah ?"

" You're in the park now Debby. The very early morning-

" But the ocean's too loud Jonah. Its bellowing. Its wailing for me”.

" Its soothing you Debby”.

She was suddenly having an exaggerated calm, breathing cycle.

"I fell down Jonah.

Oh. Mommy is coming.

She's running towards me , Jonah.

I'm up

I should run away”.

" Are you scared Debby ?”

" No, Jonah. I don't wanna stop living. I wanna breathe every dew into me.

Dew drops are, I mean the little babies' memories, Jonah.

I see the world and my world in them. Born every morning with the glitch of the morning wind. Every memory reacts, to merge with fresh storage for registration.

I'm a baby Jonah. My memory is pristine, clear and rejuvenating. Fresh to grasp all the new. Like dew drops , of the early crack.

And after the pristinity reacts with my amorphous dirt inside, I shall exhale. And, bore into the herculean sky. Then, lie down on the soft green grass and watch the birds fly away , after bathing in the sea. I wanna close my eyes till the grass dries up and stab my tender, tiny belly. I want to let the world pass me by.

While, the dew drops ice up and the moon is ready to sneer on me.From, all so quadruple million miles away.

Where I can never reach.

Maybe, I can grow and open the secret vaults of all the dungeons that I see now. The grey area.

Yes, Jonah just so unreachable yet so lucid a temptation so delicious. Till attainable to one of the senses with a better clarity.

And, I think I'm ready to be born again. And continue the cycle. There's everything in it. Its unexpectable and equally fantastical to all the imaginations. Its, definitely out of any or everyone's mind. None can imagine its depths without sublimely asserting its wrongth.

I have to grow up and stare at the world till eternity, like the sun does. And then, I shall be the sun, too. Like every celestial body out there having an uber powerful production at death, ours also does. We die, and we are born. And then we die and again we're born, the same goes on. And then someday, at the end of a major cycle we burst like a supernoval activity. And become the part of a bigger, more powerful entity. Gets bigger and bigger till we mould into the absolute blackness of space."

" Open your eyes Debby. Sun will a.ways be bright. O its death too".

I stopped.

Black out.

I was liberated with the power of, the knowledge.

"To be as tall and big as mommy would be so amusing a luxury I suppose.

To be able, to climb trees and see how far and clear you can see. To reach the clouds and their silver linings".

" Do you love the night, Debby ?"

" I love everything Jonah. Everything I can see, smell, feel and touch.

Jonah , I love it.

And , but, mommy so close, is an agony Jonah. I want her to go in, watch T.V, relax and sleep off forever".

" Night, Debby. The night".

" I want to swim Jonah.

Swim like a butterfly. Into the green depths of the ocean. And then dive deeper into the blues. And then the pitch black.

So, tender Jonah, the water passing through me is.. So tender that maybe the blue and green will rub off on me. Or, rather the glossy grey of the purple pebbles.

Or maybe,  the warm yellow sun will give me a rusted blush if I last longer, and stay beneath it. Watching it. And, the green apples!!  I want them to be in my pores Jonah.

I want my skin to be lined moonshine silver like the clouds. And, then I want to sneer at mommy. So that she smiles, and not laughs at me. I want to pick mommy up in my arms and I wanna put her to sleep.

I wanna be big, Jonah. And, I want curls as long as mommy's.

Jonah.

Jonah. Where are you Jonah?

I can't see you Jonah.

Jonah.

"Debby, I will swing you in my arms darling.

Close your eyes now. I'm coming."

" On the count of

..five..four..three..two..one.."

She opened her eyes and snarled a breath in.

" I want a cigarette, Doctor”

" Sure, Deborah”

Deborah Cunningus smoked the Yves St.Lauraine with the pant of a woman in  premature labour. She hurried through her second cigarette, taking bullet drags and swallowing down long gulps of water.

The music went onto  further lashings Pacific past.

She got up.

" I'm going home doctor. I want a paper, pen, and a divorce ".

" How old are you Debby ?"

"23, Doctor”. She lingered a long pause addressing me Doctor.

" Beautiful”. I exhaled a drag towards her shoulders.

" Go to the sea, darling.

To write”.

" I'm going to Vermont, Doctor”

" Good Bye, Debby”

 The door shut a serene thud and I exalted for understanding nothing but, a gloating in the tangled aura of hypnosis and what Debby had ranted.

" I need to die”.

I walked to my 10 year old Mahogany drawer and pulled out the silver packet.

Gulped the cynide down, preparing all energy in me to bear the biggest explosion I was high thinking of.

Bang, power of the knowledge .